


Black Clouds

by 43501



Category: Baten Kaitos
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-15 04:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/43501/pseuds/43501
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Ladekahn narrates a number of poignant moments concerning Gibari. Implied Ladekahn/Gibari, but can easily be interpreted as close friendship or brotherly love. [A slightly revised and re-titled version of "Dalliance".]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Synergy

"This is it, young Prince. In a short year from now, you'll finally be a man. You will begin to undertake the responsibilities of your title. Ladekahn, I sincerely hope you're prepared for your throne. Your people – the people of Diadem – need a strong, mature leader. Unfaltering. Well-learned. Honorable in all…"

I watched plaintively as the steam rose from the untouched cloud-brewed tea, escaping the porcelain cup and condensing on the mirror of the vanity before me, partially obscuring my own reflection. My gaze traverses the edge of the gilded vanity, admiring the opulent filigree – it was exactly my late mother's taste.

It was a mild, early-February morning. I had been thoroughly brushing my hair in preparation for my twelfth birthday celebrations when my father, His Majesty of Diadem, entered my room, apparently intent on spoiling my mood for the day.

"… Ladekahn, are you paying attention? You owe it to yourself and to Diadem to heed my words."

At his comment, I finally look up to his reflection standing behind me, his arms folded indignantly over his chest. Every inch of his body indicates a man with incredible conviction and discipline – everything from his honed musculature to the way he carries himself. I fully appreciate why our subjects admire and adore him.

"Yes, Your Majesty." I turn to him and bow my head to convey respect. "I apologize for my absent-mindedness."

He seems gravely serious. "Soon, you won't be a child anymore. There won't be time for absent-mindedness."

"I know. Don't worry." I turn back to the mirror, running the bristles of the brush through my smooth, albeit kinky platinum-blonde hair.

"I do worry!" He interjects without missing a beat. "Sir Rambari, bless his soul, but you haven't been taking your studies and sword practice seriously ever since you befriended his son."

I stop partway through a brush stroke, taken aback. "Pardon?" I know he's my father and the most powerful man in the nation, but the audacity and heartlessness of such a comment!

"Gibari will become a fine knight, of that I am sure." He says slowly, as though qualifying or attempting to mitigate the severity of his last statement. "His capabilities already far exceed that of his peers. But he has proved to be an unfavorable influence on you."

"I disagree." I reply, keeping my tone as neutral as possible.

"You disagree, do you? Then, perhaps, do you have some sort of alternate explanation as to why you did not attend your afternoon sword practice yesterday? Or why you showed no evidence of having read the politics tome you were supposed to be familiar with?"

He's right. And because he's right, I have no idea what to say in response to that, other than to be completely frank with him. Honesty is certainly my strong point; I do not lie because I do not want anyone to ever doubt the veracity of my words.

"It's my birthday today, correct? I'll be having my formal celebrations here in Elnath, but all I really wanted was to spend some time in Sheliak with Gib and the other kids. That's all I want."

"That's my point, Ladekahn. That life isn't for you. You aren't a commoner."

Damn it, I know all of this. It's been this way since mother passed on – endless droning about responsibility, lessons in etiquette and politics, and an increase in the intensity of my training.

"Your Majesty, with all due respect, I know all of this. Why are you here?"

"Because I am ill, and you need to be prepared for anything. I want to leave this world knowing that my kingdom is safe, in capable hands."

At that, the brush escapes my loose grip and falls to the floor with a clunk. As I stoop to sheepishly pick it up, I notice him leaving. I silently wonder if he's disgusted at my sudden lack of composure.

\---------

Let it be known that I absolutely hate salty things. I simply abhor them. My maid prepares a fine cloud-brewed tea alongside my breakfast every morning, and without fail, it goes untouched and eventually goes to my potted Kasilam shrub.

And here, on a day that, as I understand it, most children receive toys, sweets and adoring affection, I'm seated at a table with a remarkable spread of food and the company of my father, Sir Rambari and a number of important knights. No cakes, chocolates or pastries (my favorite): just caviar, glubberfish, the finest cuts of various other flying fish, broiled cancerite. All of which tend to be quite salty.

As I begrudgingly make my way through the food on my plate, I'm constantly on the lookout for opportunities to leave. I don't want to be here, I want to find Gibari. I just want to have a normal birthday. A birthday like the ones I had with mother, before kids my own age began calling me "Grace" and "Highness" and bowing in reverence when I passed them on the streets of Sheliak.

Finally, the whole affair is over and I am permitted to leave. With only a brief thank-you and a deep, appreciative bow, I move to leave Castle Elnath to walk to Sheliak.

My gait is quite fast and I can hear the metal part of my shoes clanking against the cobblestones of the street with every step I take. My eyes tour the grandeur of the city, drinking in the beauty of the architecture, that which glows faintly with warm orange light.

"Kahn! You made it!"

Just as I anticipated, Gibari is seated at the base of a large tree where bunnycats often play, waiting for me.

"Yeah! I'm here!" I can barely contain my enthusiasm, and I run over to him and set myself down in front of him, disregarding the soil that was sure to mark my clothes.

"Happy birthday, man." He cocks an eyebrow at me. "But what took ya?"

"Ah. The birthday feast lasted longer than I thought it would. Sorry about that."

He laughs, his features wrinkling in a way that could only be described as delightful. "Don't worry about it. But don't make me jealous! I don't like to be reminded that you'd rather be up there in that castle with all your fancy-pants food!"

"Come on, Gib. You know that's not true."

"Yeah, yeah." He offers a lighthearted, playful punch to my shoulder. It hurts more than I think he meant it to.

"What did you do today? I wanted to hang out with you more, but the king is pretty mad at me. He had me double up on my training and study a pretty lengthy book, cover to cover."

He reclines easily, interlacing his fingers and placing his hands behind his head as a makeshift pillow. "Not much. I was in Nashira most of the day. Glubberfish season is over now, so we're preserving and storing the last of the lot."

"Sounds… salty."

"It is," he admits, "it's delicious! You should come to Anna's pub when your schedule frees up, and try some!"

I open my mouth, stick out my tongue and make a mock gagging motion at the suggestion. He laughs heartily at my response. Given my position and lineage, I guess that looks pretty funny to him.

"Oh! Kahn, I've got something for you."

"A gift? You didn't have to…"

" 'Didn't have to' my ass. Here, this is from me to you."

He digs around in his pocket for a moment before extending a fist toward me, enclosed around something. For effect, he slowly and meaningfully unravels his fingers, revealing a necklace with a pendant carved out of river stone.

"T-This? Did you make this?" I say breathlessly as I take it from him, allowing it to dangle from my finger, the pendant swaying back and forth in front of my face pendulously as I inspect it. It appears to be a fish, with crosshatch markings on one side, and the words 'Friends Forever!' inscribed on the other.

"That I did." He says proudly, surveying my reaction with those deep brown eyes. I put it on and tuck it under my clothes as he continues, "I know it's not much… and it's not perfect… in fact, it's pretty far from it… But I did my best and practiced a lot, so I hope you like it."

"I love it. Thank you so much!"

Without even thinking, I practically launch myself over to where he is, throwing my arms around him. I must look like an idiot, because I'm grinning ear-to-ear, my crown just fell off and I have mud stains on my posterior, but I'm too happy to care.

"Ha! Kahn! You're an idiot. And a sap." He embraces me in a manly bear hug, patting my shoulder good-naturedly.

I finally part from him, unable to rid myself of my probably very un-regal grin. "I think you have our roles confused: You're the idiot. And sap? Excuse me, who engraved 'Friends Forever!' into this necklace again? Please."

As he continued to laugh, I settle myself next to him, feeling the same complete contentment that I always feel when I'm around him. He starts to set up for telling me a lengthy joke, but I'm not entirely paying attention: I hear his mellifluous voice and the diction of his words more than I hear the joke. I'm just basking in the camaraderie he offers me, and the happiness that he makes me feel.


	2. Candle Light

The moments slowly tick away into twilight, the scarlet clouds of Diadem swirling languidly about the perimeter of the city. The sun has set and night bruises the sky as though a relentless swath of blue had been spread across it by some celestial hand.

Some months had passed since my twelfth birthday, and the king's words proved prophetic. His final weeks were difficult to confront: the once able-bodied, proud monarch was confined to his bed and required assistance with almost everything. He deteriorated suddenly, faster than any of us could anticipate. And then it seemed, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

His open casket is on display at the foot of a gargantuan marble effigy at the center of Sheliak. Dozens of lit candles surround the coffin and statue, winking almost playfully in the darkness. Every citizen that has attended has offered a candle, often engraved with a personal epitaph. His subjects surround the statue and the casket, filling the center of the city, enveloped in reverent silence and crying silent tears.

I feel their gazes gravitate toward me one by one– some hoping to catch a glimpse of emotion from me, others seeking strength in the stony stoicism of my features. I remain perfectly poised throughout the entire procession, my eyes never leaving the contented, lifeless visage of my father, and I know that he would have been proud to see it. Although he was kind to his people, he did not believe in revealing anything tantamount to weakness.

Frankly, the urge to cry at his funeral did not strike me even once.

The crowd gradually dissolves as people start to return home. The night is unusually dark and moonless. Most of the candles have burned down to more than halfway.

As I turn to leave, thinking I am the last to do so, I notice a familiar face looking at me expectantly from a nearby alleyway. It's Gibari. The soft, dancing flames of the candles illuminate him, intricately emphasizing the contours of his muscles.

"Hey." His tone is incredibly somber, although it's appropriate.

"Hello." I return his greeting. "Why aren't you at home, Gibari? I thought I saw Sir Rambari leave for Nashira some time ago. It's much too dangerous to take the cloud passage at this time of night…"

"I know. I planned that. I wanted to talk to you, but from the look of it, you don't need any consolation."

I have a difficult time interpreting the tone of that comment. I can't tell if he's mad at me, somehow disappointed or concerned. It could have easily been all three.

"Well, whatever. Sit down with me, Kahn." He leans against the stone wall of the alley and casually slides down into a seated position.

"Sure…" I almost hypnotically obey him, even mimicking the motion.

"This is really, really bad." He wipes his palms against his pants. "What happens now? Where do we go from here?"

"Well," I start, "I assume the title of 'king' from today onward. I'll also be taking on a number of the king's responsibilities, but I'm not ready to work entirely on my own yet. Rambari and the head knights will assist me there. Although, you know, to be perfectly honest-"

"Ladekahn, why didn't you ever call him 'father'?"

"What?" I turn my head to look at him, only to find him staring back at me with vitriolic intensity. With no hyperbole, making contact with those russet eyes makes me feel as though my very heart is being stared into. It is so affronting that I quickly avert my gaze.

"You know who and what I mean. Why didn't you ever call your old man 'father'?"

I lower my gaze further and pause momentarily, searching for an honest answer.

"Perhaps…" I say after quite some time, "Perhaps it's because I never really felt loved by him. He never spoke to me like I was a human, not like my mother did. Especially not after she passed on. I never felt like he thought of me as his son, just as his successor."

"You can't be serious."

After speaking those first words, revelation after revelation unfolded and I couldn't hold my tongue any longer, "Actually, now that he's gone, I don't miss him at all. He never showed me half the affection he showed his subjects, or Sir Rambari, or you, or even the greythornes."

"You can't mean that."

"I do," I retort adamantly, "He was a legendary king and a valiant knight. But I can't say the same of him as a father."

Before I can process what is happening, an open, square palm strikes my cheek with such force that I feel momentarily faint, creating a sound comparable to a gunshot.

Literally stunned, I stare at him wide-eyed and wary, lifting a hand to my cheek to inspect the damage. I can feel the skin bruising beneath my fingertips, and I'm sure I bit the inside of my mouth, because I could taste blood.

His heart-piercing gaze hasn't changed. He's shuddering visibly, drawing deep, rhythmic breaths, as though to steady himself.

"Kahn. Do you know what your father was thinking about when he was in Sadal Suud, and we were attacked? Before Pop was the head knight?"

"Like I care now, you jerk." I say, voice faltering at the conclusion of my sentence, biting back tears.

He seems to have realized it, because his disposition softens considerably, and he looks almost apologetic. "You."

"What?"

"Yes, you. I heard it from him myself, eavesdropping on Pop and the king. You were practically alone here. He rushed back and left his business half-done because he was worried about you."

"I…"

"He loved you, even if he didn't know how to show it, or showed it the wrong way. You know? That's just how your folks are! It's family!"

He thumbs through his magnus and finds one containing ice; the very kind of ice that the fishermen normally use to keep their catch fresh. He summons it into his hand, momentarily licked by the golden light, and proceeds to wrap it in one of the cloths hanging from his belt. He turns to me, on his knees, and gently places the cold pack against the cheek he struck, holding it there.

"Thanks."

"You're… welcome."

"Not for the cold pack. For the blow." I admit. "I needed it."

His expression contorts into one of bewilderment, and he quickly becomes flushed. I assume he's embarrassed about having lashed out at me, and feels as though he grossly overstepped his bounds. He's probably anticipating some sarcastic or snarky comment from me.

"I like this about you." I manage a half-smile, because a full smile hurts too much. "No powdung. You treat me like a human."

He looks relieved, instantly. "I don't know about that… I hope your definition of 'treated like a human' isn't 'beaten senseless'."

"Don't worry, it isn't. If I'm to become king, I think I need someone like you to keep me down to earth. Er, so to speak."

I move my hand to the cold pack, effectively letting Gibari know that I was willing to relieve him of his holding-a-cold-pack-to-the-king's-face duties. But instead of moving his hand away, he gently twines his fingers between my own. A simple gesture.

But not one I was expecting at all. I feel my breath catch in my throat. It is as though he's reaching out to me – telling me that he's here for me, no matter what, in a way that is distinctly different from the protective pledges my knights offer.

He completes me. And in that moment, I decided I would be willing to do anything in my power if I thought it'd make him happy.

"Actually, Gib, I'm really happy to have you. I can't wait until Rambari retires. We already know you'll succeed him. Then, you'll be at my side. For good."

"Yeah." He says quietly, untangling his hand from mine to gently brush my hair from my face. I feel my lips forming an honest smile, and I can't help but admire the boy seated next to me. He's watching me closely now, with those incredible, soft brown eyes, the ambient candle-light playing over his velvety tanned skin. Marvelous.

As the reflections of the flames glimmer on his dark irises, I notice that he's considering something deeply. It's as if there's something he wants to say, but he's reluctant.

"Is something wrong?" I ask after a profound silence.

"No. It's nothing." He withdraws his hand from my cheek and breaks eye contact, and seems suddenly melancholic.

Not quite understanding, but wishing to console him, I abandon the cold pack in favor of resting my head on his broad shoulder. Just a small gesture to let him know I was there, as he had done for me.

I listen to him talk some more, meandering idly through endless conversation topics. My eyelids are fast becoming heavy. He can't return home until daybreak, so I suppose it won't hurt to fall asleep here.


	3. Penumbra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies for the partial novelization of actual in-game dialog.

"Kahn! Yo, Kahn! Come on down! Hey! Can you hear me?"

Oops, there I was staring at the pastel sky, blushing with beads of crystalline morning dew while my best friend stood below, desperately trying to communicate.

"Hold on, I'm coming."

I shuffle in my stance, feeling the luxurious, plush texture of the thick clouds beneath my feet. I concentrate to summon my wings: a light bursts forth from my heart and my wings, resembling those of a swan, unfurl behind me.

True to my word, I center myself and leap off the edge with wings in tow, gliding smoothly down the current of the cloud machine before landing gently in front of Gibari.

"Pretty cool, huh? You've never been down here before, have you?"

"Nope."

I tilt my head back to survey the winding Cloud Passage overhead. I have traversed those clouds numerous times, but I've never been beneath them, down here at the banks of the Lesser Celestial River.

In some strange way, I suppose that is an apt metaphor for me: the cloud passage, which I am acquainted with, is rather like Sheliak. I am intimately familiar with her twists and turns, and, if I dared to look, I could make out the gleaming celestial river below the passage – admiring it from a distance, like Nashira, but never seeing it up close. Never truly understanding it, never close enough to admire the details.

I sought to change that today. We have our hearts set on traveling to Nashira to witness the first glubberfish catch of the season. I'm told that seeing the men haul in the catch is an exciting, if somewhat humbling experience. I told Uncle Ram that I wanted to know my people, and that is true, but above all else, I wanted to take a rare glimpse into Gibari's world.

"Kahn, you've got crap all over you." Gibari reports, briskly dusting the wisps of cloud and droplets of water from my uniform.

"Yeah, I know." I let him fix my clothes for a few moments. "Don't fuss over me so much, Gib. Relax. I doubt the fishermen will care about my presentation if I'm just there informally."

"Oh… Yeah, I guess you're right."

An unmistakable pang of guilt passes his features as he pats down his pockets for the hundredth time that day.

"I told you already," I elevate my foot on a nearby rock and bend over to hitch up my stockings, "If the mirror's gone, it's gone, alright? I don't care, I mean it. Just be more mindful next time."

He heaves a sigh, a whisper of steam escaping his lips and condensing in the bitter afternoon air. "Pop is going to be pissed. Like, more than he'll already be."

"I don't plan on telling him, dolt." I laugh. "What do you take me for?"

He laughs back at me, nervously. "Well… Thanks." He's watching the torrential current of the Lesser Celestial River with some anxiety, searching for a means to cross.

"You know I'm not going to throw away our friendship over something like that." I assure him, walking up to him and slinging an arm around his shoulders, offering a brief squeeze.

"Okay." He retorts, brightening. "It's not far now. We just have to cross over this part and go up that cloud machine on that bank over there. Then, it's just a short walk home."

"I think they're following us, Gib."

"Who?"

We peer up in unison, at a trio of travelers briskly making their way through the Cloud Passage overhead. There is a young boy in red with dark hair, a well-dressed young lady and a queer puppet engaged in conversation.

"I dunno." He remarks, shrugging his shoulders. "Tourists? I don't really know. They're not from Nashira, that's for sure."

"They were at Elnath before, I ran past them. I think they needed to speak with me."

"What, so you're going to go and talk to them now?"

"No. If that's their agenda, they can wait." Thinking about it for a moment, if they're actively pursuing me, then perhaps their issue is more urgent than I initially surmised, but I push the thought out of my mind. "Let's go! We'll miss it if we waste any more time."

"Right!"

He lurches forward with the aid of his fin-like wings, effortlessly dancing over the scant stones that precariously connected the two sides of the river together, using his wings to maintain balance on the slippery surface, before leaping almost majestically into the cloud machine's stream, with me not too far behind.

We break through the cotton-candy clouds and land, nearing the end of the Cloud Passage, wings dissipating.

"Oh. We have a problem."

"What is it?"

Upon inspection, I see what it is. 'It' is an enormous gap between where we stand, and the path to Nashira.

"There isn't usually a break here, even at the worst time of year, that's why there's no machine down below." He explains, crestfallen. "Aw… We're going to miss the first catch of the season! It's a dead end! Our wings can't take us that far…"

"Like hell they can't." I shoot him a devil-may-care glance and a half-smile as I take a few, defiant strides back, laughing internally at the shocked expression on his face.

"It's only a dead end if you're dead!" I summon my wings and in one clean, quick motion, I leap off the edge, allow my wings to carry me some distance before launching myself off the back of some creature listlessly flying about, barely making the jump.

"There!" I say, flushed and out of breath, adrenaline rushing through me. "Now you try!"

"You're insane." He says that, but he flawlessly replicates my maneuver, his sheer weight sending the poor creature off to its untimely death.

As soon as his feet make contact with the cloud, I grab his wrist and break into a run, tugging him along eagerly. "Come on, come on, we're already late!"

"You really want to see this, don't you? And here I was thinking you'd brush me off when I suggested it to you in the first place."

"I've never seen anything like it. And besides, if it's important to you, I want to go with you."

"Kahn… Thank you. I want you to know that…"

His voice trails off and he stops dead in his tracks, demeanor darkening.

The village is occupied with imperial soldiers and numerous golden machina. The villagers are nowhere to be found, their vessels untouched and stationed in-port, and no evidence of a catch is present.

Something is terribly wrong.

\---------

Regardless of my best efforts, I can't stop the tumultuous shaking erupting from my core after all that has transpired. My clothes are flecked with the blood of the man I eventually came to call my uncle. My mind revisits the events with astounding rapidity – the capture at Nashira, storming the Cloudvents, having my life held hostage, the light fading from Uncle Ram's eyes with every passing moment as blood poured relentlessly from his many wounds. Gibari's pained howls ringing throughout the air and getting lost in the clouds.

I'm standing with Gibari and those strangers from earlier – Sagi, Milly, Guillo – in the audience chamber of Elnath. Oppressive silence hangs heavily in the air; you could cut through the tension with a knife.

Finally, Gibari breaks the silence. "Kahn, I, um…"

"I know, you don't have to say it."

"Then let's hurry and assemble the knights." He says, regaining his composure, an certain adamancy to his tone of voice. "We have to avenge Celsica, and Pop."

"It's all right." My voice is barely above a whisper.

"Huh?"

"The knights will be assembled to take back the Cloudvents, and Celsica and Uncle Ram will be avenged. I promise you that." Swallowing thickly, I continue. "But, Gib… I don't need you to do it."

"What're you talking about, Kahn?"

"I don't need to give you a reason," I spit, suddenly taking on an acrimonious tone, "I order you, as your king: give up knighthood and return to Nashira."

"Kahn!"

"I'm speaking to you as your king. This is an order, Gibari." I do not mean to sound as cold as I'm sure I do, but I know there's no other way he would take me seriously.

"What the hell? I don't understand!"

I can see his eyes shimmering with tears and it almost breaks my will. He is visibly wounded and confused, and a part of me hates myself for realizing that I, loving him as I do, am the reason for his sadness.

"As you wish, sire." He murmurs, defeated in his resolve. "If that is His Majesty's bidding."

He turns away from me and makes a move to leave, offering his farewells and well-wishes to Sagi and the others. I watch those farewells with a growing sadness, realizing that this could be the last time I see him for a while, and certainly the last time I see him like this.

The enormous door swings open with ease due to his strength, but unexpectedly, he glances over his shoulder at me, gracing me with the most beautiful and appreciative smile I'd ever laid eyes on.

"Kahn! Friends forever!"

The thunderous declaration resonates throughout the chamber, and my hand instinctively moves to my chest, clutching at my clothes, feeling the vague outline of the pendant beneath my layers of clothing. An indescribable sound escapes my throat, and I can barely contain myself from dissolving into tears.

And just like that, he was gone. The grandiose doors of the audience chamber close behind him, marking the end of our friendship as we knew it with a definitive click.

Seemingly understanding what's going through my mind, Sagi, Milly and Guillo are brief in their consultation with me. Without hesitation, I pledge Diadem's aid to them and assure them that my nation will take up arms against Baelheit and contest the spread of promachination.

Satisfied with my answer, they thank me in turn and leave. I tell them that I will pray for them, and the guards escort them from Elnath. The doors close a second time, and I am alone at last.

The unbearable weight of loneliness sets in instantaneously, careening in on my chest with the force of a thousand olifants, crushing my ribcage and hampering my breath. It was over. Things would never be the same again. No more stealing pastries from the royal kitchen before breakfast. No more upsetting bunnycats as we ran across the grassy knolls of Sheliak without a care in the world. No more joint practice, games with the other kids, the comfortable, night-time chats, the way he made me feel whole… And being endlessly confused by that strange look he gave me, from those soft brown eyes.

I somberly wonder how long it would take him before he realized why I made him leave. There was no way in this great sky that I wanted him to die full of youth as my shield, which is a distinct possibility given our current situation. I want him to be happy. Grow up. Get married. Have children. Die old and fulfilled, surrounded by friends and family, not as some bloody sacrifice for me. My father would admonish me if he were still here.

He is special to me. Beyond what mere words could ever hope to express.

I lower my head into my hands, the tears finally spilling over, heavy sobs wracking my frame.

They say that the clouds of Diadem grow dark when its knights shed tears. Surely, the clouds will be black tonight.


End file.
